I Needed A Laugh

Me: So, there's this guy's name on your calendar right now, but I don't know why. (since he made the entry himself, sans details)
Him: Thaaaaaaat's cuz I need to call that guy.
Me: Ah. Ok. Well, in that case you're 8 minutes late.
Him: Some might call it fashionably late.
Me: *laughing a little*
Him: Fine. Go ahead and be negative.
Me: *laughing a little more*
Him: (after calling the guy to find he needed to reschedule for 2 days from now) See? Now I'm actually 2 days early!
Me: *laughing a LOT*

Fair Enough

Him: Any word from that no-show guy?
Me: Nope.
Him: Very strange.
Me: It happens.
Him: ..........and when it does, it's very strange.

Too Easy

Him: Does the dress code for this place we're going to require jackets for brunch?
Me: They say it's "preferred", but not required.
Him: Hm. I'm still just not sure if I need one or not.
Me: I'm guessing you're not the type of guy they're concerned with.
Him: Ah. So, they're more concerned with riff-raff.
Me: Hmmm... maybe you *should* bring a jacket then.

Grrrrrrowl...

Him: *not quite clear mumbling*
Me: Did you just say "Sarah" or was that some kind of grunt?
Him: That was an "Rrrrrrr..."
Me: Ah, ok. Maybe a little like Sarah.
Him: Sarrrrrrrrrrrrrrah.
Me: :D

Y'gotta Be Specific

Him: Will you remind me I have a call in two minutes?
Me: Mm hm. *beatbeat* Hey...
Him: (interrupting immediately) Remind me in one minute, that I have a call in two minutes.
Me: *smirk* Ok.

Calm Down, Spicy Spice!

Him: That curry I had for lunch was so hot I went thru two waters in one meeting.
Me: Wow!
Him: I might even need another one to kill it.
Me: You should have a yogurt.
Him: ................YOU should have a yogurt.
Me: -_- A yogurt will kill a curry.
Him: .................oh.

It Takes All Kinds

Him: (having fwd a particularly ridiculous pitch email to me) "Please clear the rest of June for this. There is no higher priority. (please ignore my last 2 sentences)"
Me: (after choking on my tuna wrap) "The brilliance of this guy. It blinds me. Do you actually want me to schedule him, or is this strictly for the WTF archives?"
Him: "WTF. If you ever schedule a guy like this, I'll tar and feather you, assuming that's legal for an employer to do. Is it?"
Me: "Tar, no. Feathers, yes. Throw in some glitter, and it's just another day in my typical world. :D"

That's YouTube GOLD!

Him: Ok. I gotta get down in my car, so I can commute home during this next call.
Me: You gotta get down in your car? You mean, like Disco Fever?
Him: Uhhh... yes.
Me: Can I watch?
Him: Only on YouTube.

Plastered Pitch?

Now THAT'S how to throw a morning meeting. W3rd.

Bossi-girl?

Me: (after taking a confirmation call from restaurant host) Woohoo! I totally forgot that Max Raabe and dinner at Jardinière are THIS Friday.
Him: Good restaurant!
Coworker: Good band!
Me: Yep! I'm taking my girl out!
Him: ........by any chance, am I your girl?
Me & Coworker: Bwaaahahahahaaa!

BONK! BONK!

Him: (pops his head up in the window between his office and my desk, then immediately pops back down out of it)
Me: Wow. That was like a whack-a-mole moment.
Him: (in chat) Shush. I'm on my cell phone.
Me: (also in chat) Shushing commenced.
Him: Plus, if you whack me, I'll press charges.
Me: Pfft. Like I haven't heard THAT one a million times before.
Him: More shushing, please.