CRASH!!!

Preface: This is the morning after Bossipoo(™) had been in an auto accident. His car was stopped on an offramp, and a woman rear-ended his SUV going full highway speed. (Miraculously, he's fine.)

Me: Oh, my god. I can't even convey how insanely relieved I am that you're OK. I had a totally irrational "what if I'd lost you" wig out last night.
Him: Thanks. I hate having those "what if I'd lost me" nights. ;) Seriously though. It all happened so fast. Really reminds you how fragile life is.
Me: Absolutely. Especially the life of someone who can make me laugh at a time like this. Ya dayum goofball. *warmfuzzy*
Him: *alsowarmfuzzy*

What? Huh? What? Huh? What?

Him: Here’s another business card for contact updates.
Me: Cool, thanks. (looking it over) Oh, I didn’t know he was from that company.
Him: (having not heard what I said) Was that english?
Me: Yes. (starting to repeat…)
Him: (starting to talk to coworker, then stopping to listen but missing it…) Wait. What?
Me: (starting again…)
Him: (starting to talk to coworker again, then stopping to listen but missing it again…) I can’t understand any of that. You should just stop talking.
Me: (to imaginary audience) Today the role of Bossipoo(™) will be played by Sarah.
Him: *eyeroll*

Sexeh Thang

Him: Are you getting sick?
Me: No. Why?
Him: You sound like you're getting sick.
Me: Oh, you mean my husky morning voice?
Him: Yeah. It sounds like a sicky thing.
Me: It's a sexy thing.
Him: Oh, is that what you're going for today? (quickly escaping to hallway)
Me: Heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!