I'm so proud! *sniffle*

Him: (to coworker "M") Where do you keep the extra kleenex boxes?
M: Under the counter next to the printers.
Him: (walking past the printer area into the kitchen) The counter in the kitchen?
M: Do you see a printer in the kitchen?
Me: Hah! Nicely said, M!
Him: (to me) Uh oh. Your sarcasm is starting to rub off on her.
Me: Mwahahahahahaaaaaa...

2 Posts in 1 Day?! Bonus!

Him: Hey, could you show me how t... uhhh... nevermind. I just figured it out.
Me: What was it?
Him: A formatting thing. I thought I couldn't do it, but then I remembered how incredibly capable I am.
Me: Incredibly capable AND humble.
Him: Yes. I am tooootally humble. It's awesome.

That explains so much!

(emailing me while he's stuck on a long board call)

Him: Diet Coke please, and 8 blueberries. Thx.
Me: (after delivering snack) That was totally a request like my bestie's son would make.
Him: I'm a 4 year old at heart.

I'm right. You're wro...FIRE!

Him: The CEO just told me a different address and meeting time than I see in the calendar item.
Me: The CEO is wrong. I've confirmed it with his administrator.
Him: Could you double-check anyway?
Me: Of course......... Ok, I've checked with both of them together. The info I gave you is correct, and the CEO apologized for his mistake.
Him: You do realize that if I show up to the wrong place at the wrong time tomorrow, I'm coming back here to light you on fire.
Me: You're gonna light me on fire?
Him: Yes. Assuming that's not illegal. Hm. Maybe I should check with HR. One sec............. darnit. Apparently, that's not ok.
Me: Definitely over the line.
Him: ........... barely.
Me: I don't think I like your tone, sir.

Happy Anniversary!

Him: Hey! How long have you been working with me?
Me: (huge grin) Five years yesterday, sir!
Him: Five years! Wow! That's astounding! Here! (handing me an oddly thick envelope)
Me: Wow! Thanks!
Him: (as I open it) Now, I know it's ridiculous, but this is apparently what happens when you try to order a Nordstrom gift card with a multiple-hundreds amount...



Me: Bwaaaaahahahahahahaaa! I love it. I could play solitaire with all these! Thank you!!!

Just Keeping Things Balanced

Him: (to coworker) Hey, you should take off early if the rest of the team isn't coming back to the office today.
Coworker: Ok. I probably will. Thanks.
Him: (to me) Hey, you should stay veeerrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy late.
Me: Well..... as long as YOU leave, that's fine.
Him: ........................