Geography Schmeography

Me: Is this company I'm scheduling local?
Him: Umm… I think they were local last time we saw them, but may have moved north.
Me: Any idea where?
Him: Yeah. Uhhh… maybe not too far from here… or maybe Canada. Umm… Yeah. Somewhere between here and Canada.
Me: ………………..thanks for the clarification.

Cookies & Denial

Him: (returning from lunch meeting) Here! I got you a cookie!
Me: Awwww... thanks, Bossipoo!
Him: ..... I refuse to respond to that name.
Me: That's fine. Now, what's IN the cookie?
Him: There's love in the cookie.
Me: You won't respond to Bossipoo, but you'll say there's love in the cookie?
Him: ............................
Me: Your silence does not count as a denial, y'know.
Him: .................... yes.

What's in a Name?

Him: What's this next guy's first name again?
Me: Donald. I think he goes by Don.
Him: Don? (with an 'ah' sound) Well, how do you know it's not Don? (with an 'oh' sound)
Me: ..........You're absolutely right, FrOHdrick FrONkenstEEn. It *could* be Don. (with an 'oh' sound)
Him: Thanks, AYgor!

Redundant much?

Me: Is the guy you just interviewed waiting to meet someone else? He's still in the main conference room, and we need to set it up for the board meeting.
Him: (distractedly) ........uh......uh... no. He's done. You can kick him out if you need to.
Me: Ok. Great. Thanks.

(5 minutes later)

Him: Hey! You know there's a board meeting starting soon. Could you please make sure someone gets the main conference room ready for that?
Me: ..........were you seriously THAT distracted before, or are you kidding with me?
Him: ...............whu?
Me: Oh jeez. Nevermind. Yes, the room will be ready. *eyeroll*

Just go.

Him: I'm leaving in about an hour.
Me: Whatever will I do without you?
Him: You'll manage.............. BARELY, but you'll manage.
Me: Hm. Are you sure you don't wanna leave RIGHT NOW instead?

Dignity. Always dignity.

Him: Will we have time for a longer partner meeting next week? We're running out of time today, and there's a lot more to go over.
Me: Not really. You've got a board call directly before, and two full-team pitches directly after.
Him: Awwwwww phoooey!
Me: Excellent point. Well made.

Showdown

Me: FYI, I made some shifts in tomorrow's schedule to allow for that extra meeting we thought wouldn't fit, but it means you'll be a little back-to-back. Not a lot! Just a little!
Him: .....................
Me: Don't kill me.
Him: ..................... I cannot confirm I won't kill you.
Me: Well..... then you go right ahead and TRY to kill me.
Him: ..... I think I'll go into this meeting now.