Time Off

Him: Hey, I'm not in tomorrow, so either take the day off, or give M the day off. Whoever stays should only do a half day.
Me: Ok. I already told M to take it off, and planned on doing so as well. No one else will be here. Do you still want one of us to come in?
Him: Oh! No. Stay away. Far far away.
Me: Aw man! I was also planning to hover near our doorway as my happy-fun day-off activity! You're such a kill joy.
Him: Well, ok… but only do it for half the day.

Games...

Him: Guess what I'm doing tonight?
Me: Do I really hafta guess?
Him: Yeah! I'll give you twenty questions to figure it out.
Me: Ok, my first question is what are you doing tonight?
Him: No no no no... come on!
Me: Ugh..... fine. Is it an event or a show?
Him: Show!
Me: Is it a theatrical show or a concert?
Him: A concert!
Me: Are you seeing Van Morrison?
Him: Looka you with the big brain!!!
Me: ....oh good. Well, have fun.
Him: Thanks! So, do you know what the next meeting on my schedule is about?
Me: Yeah! I'll give you twenty questions to figure it out.

Refreshing

Him: Hey, when did that call end up getting scheduled?
Me: Next Tuesday morning.
Him: I don't see it on the calendar.
Me: Then you should refresh it.
Him: ……..(muttered) maybe YOU should refresh it.
Me: …….seriously?

(Have I ever mentioned I do NOT embellish these?)

Spoil Sport

Him: I need to be outta here no later than 3:45 today. If I'm not, then kick me.
Me: .........really?! (perhaps a little too gleefully)
Him: NO! And if you do, I'll sue you.
Me: *pout*

Where's the trust?

Him: Did that scheduling email fall thru the cracks somehow?
Me: Not at all, oh ye of little faith.
Him: Hey! I only asked cuz he replied like he hadn't heard from you. Did he just miss it?
Me: Yep. He'll get to it shortly, I'm sure. People reply to emails everyday without getting thru the rest of their inbox first, sillypants.
Him: Ah. Well y'see, I just naturally assume everyone treats your emails with the highest possible priority.
Me: Nice save.