Don't forget the frosting?

Me: My mom is sending me texts from the road. She says there's a boy with a gun in his belt at 7-11, a brothel made to look like a gingerbread house at the truck stop, and an electronic road sign advertising call girls... but we CA folk are the weirdos, right? Yayyy mid-west!
Him: I love gingerbread brothels. Who wouldn't?
Me: ...............noted.

Snack Time

Me: Are you still uninterested in yogurt for now? I'm placing a grocery order.
Him: Mostly.
Me: Helpful reply.
Him: I try.
Me: One o' these days, Alice... bang zoom.

Sneaky

Me: I'm working with our VOIP vendor on the conferencing issue.
Him: Oh, there IS an issue. At least I know it wasn't just me being an idiot.
Me: Well, yes. Not for that anyway.
Him: (distracted) Um... what?
Me: (giggling) Nothiiiiing.
Him: You making fun of me?
Me: Could be. Could be not. Who's to say?
Him: Well... um... okfine.