Oh. Oh yeah.

Me: Your next pitch guy is here.
Him: Yeah right. Sure he is.
Me: Weirdo.
Him: Stop harassing me.
Me: Yer not the boss of m... dammit. I keep forgetting that doesn't work with you.

Skill Expansion

Me: Hold the phone. This guy just told me the dates you asked for don't work, and then offered them on his list of what DOES work.
Him: Do I literally have to hold my phone? I'm about to use it.
Me: Well, then it's a convenient way to practice your multitasking. Please do.

Sharing Is Caring

Him: I'm glad you're here to help.
Me: I'm not here to help. I'm only here for the free cookies.
Him: Noted.
Me: Speaking of which, did you eat your whole cookie? (cuz I can help with that)
Him: As if.
Me: Drat.

Dumb is as dumb does.

Him: What the heck is up with that guy's assistant?!
Me: Dude! He's gone thru 3 in the last 2.5 yrs, and there's no way to be p.c. about it: they've all been dumber than a bag of hammers.
Him: Does a bag of hammers really ever exist? Seriously. Who would ever need a whole bag of hammers? What kind of crazy analogy is that?
Me: Pretty dumb, huh?
Him: ... I see what you did there.