Oh. Oh yeah.

Me: Your next pitch guy is here.
Him: Yeah right. Sure he is.
Me: Weirdo.
Him: Stop harassing me.
Me: Yer not the boss of m... dammit. I keep forgetting that doesn't work with you.

Skill Expansion

Me: Hold the phone. This guy just told me the dates you asked for don't work, and then offered them on his list of what DOES work.
Him: Do I literally have to hold my phone? I'm about to use it.
Me: Well, then it's a convenient way to practice your multitasking. Please do.

Sharing Is Caring

Him: I'm glad you're here to help.
Me: I'm not here to help. I'm only here for the free cookies.
Him: Noted.
Me: Speaking of which, did you eat your whole cookie? (cuz I can help with that)
Him: As if.
Me: Drat.

Dumb is as dumb does.

Him: What the heck is up with that guy's assistant?!
Me: Dude! He's gone thru 3 in the last 2.5 yrs, and there's no way to be p.c. about it: they've all been dumber than a bag of hammers.
Him: Does a bag of hammers really ever exist? Seriously. Who would ever need a whole bag of hammers? What kind of crazy analogy is that?
Me: Pretty dumb, huh?
Him: ... I see what you did there.

Executive Ad-sith-istrator

Him: Could you call Wynn Vegas for me, and negotiate my reservation down to the cheaper price they're advertising now? (may the force be with you)
Me: I'll take care of it. (right after I take over the dark side)

Better than "Trood F...ery"

Him: Did you see the new food truck?
Me: Yeah. Looks great!
Him: I like that our food-truckery is expanding.
Me: Did you say food-truckery?
Him: Yes, I did.
Me: Oh, good.

Brainema

Me: "You've asked that 3 times now, but here's the answer again."
Him: "Oh yeah. Thx. My mind is full, so I can't remember stuff."
Me: "You need a brainema."
Him: "See? Right there. I even forgot that was a word."

thE biG buckS

Him: "My ALL CAPS didn't work."
Me: "Sounds like a personal problem."
Him: "But I wanted to say YUM, not Yum."
Me: "Next time say yUM to compensate."
Him: "See, that's why I pay you the big bucks."

I'll never stop asking!

Me: Scheduling favor/request... please let me move calendar events when they need rescheduling, rather than deleting them. I love that you try to save me work now and then, but I lose all the event details when the item is deleted.
Bossipoo: Yep! Makes sense.
Me: Coolio foolio.
*brief radio silence*
Me: Next request... office kitten?
Bossipoo: Not a chance.
Me: Curses!

NCC-1701

Me: You know your next pitch is here, yes?
Him: Just finishing a call.
Me: He has a Romulan haircut, btw. Just FYI.
Him: See, now I'm just gonna start laughing while I'm in there.
Me: Beware. He may be prone to vicious outbursts over his distain for humans. If I were you, I'd set phasers to ChillOutMan.
Him: You are SO not cool.

Overheard in the next room...

Coworker: "What? Wylie Coyote?"
*pause*
Him: "Dude! I said Financial Cliff! WTF?!"

Bossipoo™ knows my humor so well...

... I love my job.

Yer never fully dressed without a...

Me: I just got you a sweet upgrade on your room for Thursday night.
Him: Excellent. I have a big smile on my face.
Me: Well, I hope it belongs to you. Otherwise, weeeeeird!
Him: ROFL! I need to give you another raise.

D'aaawwwwwwww!!!

Me: This new service I'm looking into seems to be infinitely more flexible and multi-platform compatible than our current service. Also, it's .99 per month, or $9.99 per year! Can I get it? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Him: Hm. I dunno. That's pretty steep, but I gueeeess I'll let you spend ten bucks. *sarcasticlook(tm)*
Me: Boosipoo? You realize that normal logic dictates I should dislike you, right? Why does it instead delight me so much when you're being a smartass?
Him: Because you're the Yin, and my wife is the Yang, and the universe is very strict about keeping a balance.
Me: .............. That's mildly creepy, moderately hilarious, and majorly sweet. You win today. :D

Burfday Email

Him: Happy birthday, young lady! I suggest you spend the entire day and night partying, dancing, eating cake, laughing, making sarcastic comments to people, and generally doing anything you please. Hope your vacation is going nicely. Have fun!
Me: Will do, best Bossipoo ever!

Tipsy Skies?

Him: Do you want these Southwest drink coupons? I never use them.
Me: Sure! I'll use the hell outta those!
Him: Ok, but you can't use all 4 at the same time. You'll be drunk.
Me: Yer not the boss o' me!
Him: *sternlook(™)*
Me: ...when I'm on a plane!

And so it begins...

Bossipoo™and I have a frighteningly similar pithy/quirky sense of humor, that I thought it wise to catalog as many exchanges as my busy work day will allow me to capture.

We'll start today with a simple Bossipoo nonsensical quote...
"That's the problem with fingers, is that you hafta use them."