Blame-y Fun Times?

Him: (talking 'to himself' for my benefit) I hafta get outta here, and I feel like I haven't gotten much done at all today. Hmmm... whoooo can I blame that on?

Me: Oh! Oh! Me! Mememe!! (bouncing in chair)

Him: Hm. I'm not sure you're worthy.

Me: DAMMAT!!!

Quite a Ride!

While handing me business cards from last week to put into our system...

Him: Wait. Who was this guy?
Me: Looks like a taxi card?
Him: Oh! This was that Lyft driver! He was the best! Add a note to his entry.
Me: Ok. What is he "the best" of?
Him: He’s... just... the best!
Me: ..............oki doki.

Holiday Hardy Har

Him: Hey! How was your holiday break?
Me: Great! How was yours?
Him: Great! I have some bad news, though.
Me: Am I fired?
Him: No... but I also have some good news!
Me: *rimshot* He'll be here all week, folks! Tip your meatloaf, and try the waitress!

Tis the Season...

My favorite kind of gift from my favorite Bossipoo!

Me: Thank you for the thank you card!
Him: Oh! Thank you for the thank you for the thank you card!
Me: Oh! Thank you for the thank you for the thank you for the thank you card!

This may go on for quite some time. Here's to many more years of Bossipoo-ness! 💕

The Refreshmaker

Him: Hey, the flight I cancelled is still on my calendar. I'll delete it.

Me: Don't delete it. I already updated it to show your new flight. Just click refresh.

Him: But the Thursday flight is still there.

Me: That's because you need to click refresh.

Him: Just let me delete the Thursday flight.
Me: The Thursday flight has already been changed to the Wednesday flight. Please do NOT delete anything. Just click refresh, and the update will show.
Him: But it still says Thursday on my calendar.
Me: Are you clicking refresh, or doing something else?
Him: Um... none of your business.

Office Jams?

(this morning's kitchen convo)

Him: So... this boyfriend... what's he do?
Me: He's a singer and musician.
Him: What does he play?
Me: Lots of things. He even composes full orchestrations, but his main weapon is bass.
Him: (sounding nervous) Are you gonna move away?
Me: No. He's planning to eventually start building work-infrastructure for himself here.
Him: (sounding relieved) Hm. Y'know I *was* think that when we move our new office should have an office bass player.
Me: (laughing) If we get an office bass player, I promise I'll finally stop harassing you for an office kitten. :D

Skin Deep

Him: I always get this red mark on my nose if I get too dehydrated. It's weird. Even my dermatologist couldn't figure it out.
Me: Wow. Crazy. I always get a red mark in the same spot, but it's cuz my nose is skinny so my glasses dig into it there.
Him: Well, you DO have Skinny Nose Disease.
Me: Yup! And you have Water Bindi Disease!
Both: Bwaaahahahahahaha!

Day Ain't Over Yet

Could you... uh, nevermind.

(while chatting with Coworker™, Bossipoo™walks by and says...)
Him: Hey, Coworker™? We're running really low on everything.
Me and Coworker™Simultaneously: We actually JUST received a delivery.
Him: Hey, Coworker™? We're running really high on everything.
Me and Coworker™Simultaneously: BWAAAAHAHAHAHA...

Ya GOT Me!

(convo through email)

Him: Could you get this thing done for me?
Me: I got that thing done for you over a week ago.
Him: Well, then. Do absolutely nothing.
Me: I am now sitting very still, sir.
Him: Except for your fingers, obviously.
Me: .........DAMNIT!

Rainy Lunch

Him: Do we have an umbrella I can take to my lunch meeting?
Me: You can take mine.
Him: It might be too girly.
Me: It's a plain dark blue umbrella. It's not girly at all.
(he uses it, and after he comes back...)
Me: Did it make you feel girly?
Him: Well, everyone kept pointing at me and laughing.
Me: Are you sure that was cuz of the umbrella?
Him: Didn't catch that. What?
Me: Nothing. (huge grin)

EMERGEN...nevermind.

Him: Hey, S?
Me: Yes?
Him: I think someone stole my calculator!
Me: Seriously?!
Him: No. Here it is.
Me: *laughinghysterically* Wow, Bossipoo. Wow.
Him: That was close.
Me: I'm lightning fast at solving crimes.

Chain-chain-chaaain...

Upon passing each other in the hallway that leads to the restrooms...

Him: *makes a hand gesture indicating I should get-the -hell back to my desk*
Me: Yeah. I know. I chewed thru my chains again.
Him: DAMNIT! I need to get some thicker chains.
Me: Get some chocolate chains. I'll still chew thru them, but at least I won't leave.

Mumbly Denial

Him (to Coworker "M"): Hey, M? Um... *very mumbly half sentences*
Coworker M: What? Hang on a sec. I couldn't hear that.
Me: He was mumbling. I think he's still trying to figure out what he wanted to say to you.
Coworker M: Ah. Ok.
Him: *very mumbly again* .................. I don't mumble.

I Needed A Laugh

Me: So, there's this guy's name on your calendar right now, but I don't know why. (since he made the entry himself, sans details)
Him: Thaaaaaaat's cuz I need to call that guy.
Me: Ah. Ok. Well, in that case you're 8 minutes late.
Him: Some might call it fashionably late.
Me: *laughing a little*
Him: Fine. Go ahead and be negative.
Me: *laughing a little more*
Him: (after calling the guy to find he needed to reschedule for 2 days from now) See? Now I'm actually 2 days early!
Me: *laughing a LOT*

Fair Enough

Him: Any word from that no-show guy?
Me: Nope.
Him: Very strange.
Me: It happens.
Him: ..........and when it does, it's very strange.

Too Easy

Him: Does the dress code for this place we're going to require jackets for brunch?
Me: They say it's "preferred", but not required.
Him: Hm. I'm still just not sure if I need one or not.
Me: I'm guessing you're not the type of guy they're concerned with.
Him: Ah. So, they're more concerned with riff-raff.
Me: Hmmm... maybe you *should* bring a jacket then.

Grrrrrrowl...

Him: *not quite clear mumbling*
Me: Did you just say "Sarah" or was that some kind of grunt?
Him: That was an "Rrrrrrr..."
Me: Ah, ok. Maybe a little like Sarah.
Him: Sarrrrrrrrrrrrrrah.
Me: :D

Y'gotta Be Specific

Him: Will you remind me I have a call in two minutes?
Me: Mm hm. *beatbeat* Hey...
Him: (interrupting immediately) Remind me in one minute, that I have a call in two minutes.
Me: *smirk* Ok.

Calm Down, Spicy Spice!

Him: That curry I had for lunch was so hot I went thru two waters in one meeting.
Me: Wow!
Him: I might even need another one to kill it.
Me: You should have a yogurt.
Him: ................YOU should have a yogurt.
Me: -_- A yogurt will kill a curry.
Him: .................oh.