$$$

Him: I'm now on phone with richest man in world... literally.
Me: I'll betcha that's a mis-use of "literally", but still impressive.
Him: How much do you want to bet?
Me: As much as he'll lend me. Would you mind asking?
Him: That might be awkward. So yes, I mind.
Me: You're so unsupportive. I'll bet you HE'D let me have an office kitten.
Him: I think YOU'D prefer being HIS office kitten.
Me: You may have a valid point.

Ook Ook

Me: It was actually me who devised the schedule you just fwded to me, but you're a good monkey for fwding things so religiously.
Him: A good monkey? I'm the best monkey! And you know it!
Me: I... uh...... yes. Yes, you are.