thE biG buckS

Him: "My ALL CAPS didn't work."
Me: "Sounds like a personal problem."
Him: "But I wanted to say YUM, not Yum."
Me: "Next time say yUM to compensate."
Him: "See, that's why I pay you the big bucks."

I'll never stop asking!

Me: Scheduling favor/request... please let me move calendar events when they need rescheduling, rather than deleting them. I love that you try to save me work now and then, but I lose all the event details when the item is deleted.
Bossipoo: Yep! Makes sense.
Me: Coolio foolio.
*brief radio silence*
Me: Next request... office kitten?
Bossipoo: Not a chance.
Me: Curses!

NCC-1701

Me: You know your next pitch is here, yes?
Him: Just finishing a call.
Me: He has a Romulan haircut, btw. Just FYI.
Him: See, now I'm just gonna start laughing while I'm in there.
Me: Beware. He may be prone to vicious outbursts over his distain for humans. If I were you, I'd set phasers to ChillOutMan.
Him: You are SO not cool.

Overheard in the next room...

Coworker: "What? Wylie Coyote?"
*pause*
Him: "Dude! I said Financial Cliff! WTF?!"